Review of Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening

“Get Your Loved One Sober” is a self-help book based on Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) – a cognitive-behavioral approach proven to help family members of alcoholics improve their quality of life and increase the chances that their loved ones will reduce or quit drinking. As the authors note, this book is designed for people who feel they have “tried it all.” The “Alternatives” of the title offer a constructive way for people to attempt to influence their loved one’s drinking behavior. Unlike approaches that rely on confrontational intervention on one hand, or detachment on the other, CRAFT teaches nonconfrontational engagement with the drinker, guided by empirically supported behavioral principles.

“Get Your Loved One Sober” helps those in relationships with alcoholics discover how they may best change their own behavior to make sobriety more attractive to the drinker than drinking. The authors devote an early chapter to safety and encourage readers to have a safety plan before attempting any behavior change. Some of the techniques introduced in subsequent chapters include setting goals (including self-care goals); eliminating “enabling,” improving communication and problem-solving, and bringing up the idea of treatment. The suggestions are detailed enough that readers will be able to succeed at following them, but allow for judgment on the part of the reader as to how best to proceed. The tone is one of empathy and optimism – it is clear that the authors have extensive experience helping families through this difficult process. There is a real sense of truth to the numerous case examples that provide realistic models of how the “Alternatives” can work in practice.

Deborah H. A. Van Horn, Ph. D. - March 20, 2005